Who are your friends? Did you take time out to select them, or did you just take those who circumstances brought your way? Man is a spirit, not the outward body that we see. The body we see is only a housing for the real you. God has a destiny for that spirit-man; therefore, it is important to God who your friends, confidants, and trusted ones are. I have come to find that the nature of friendship is that of influence with parties changing, molding, and re-molding one another. As someone said, it is not possible to have a relationship where the parties are not effecting a change in one another at all; whether or not you believe it, if you do not noticeably see your friends becoming more like you, then you are certainly becoming more like them. The problem is not in you becoming like another person – that part is inevitable; the real concern is with the kind of character or mindset you are gradually, subtly, and progressively being influenced by.“I choose as my friends everyone who worships you and follows your teachings.” [Psalm 119:63 CEV]
Paul gives us a New Testament picture of the same thing in 2 Corinthians 6:14 & 16 where he says “be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness...what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God.” In the early days of mechanized farming, two animals were attached together using an implement that forced them in the same direction. Those animals were ‘yoked’ together for such purposes as plowing and generally increasing productivity on the farm. In those days, only animals of the same kind were yoked together - for example a bull and another bull; to yoke a bull with a dog would be referred to as unequal yoking, and as you may imagine, it would not work so well. As Christians, we are of a different breed [James 1:18] – a new type of beings – different from the ordinary human person, because the life of God has been put in us through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus [1 John 5:11-12].
Therefore, God is concerned about who you call your best friends. Learn to define your relationships. The fact that you go to class together with someone else does not make you their friend or companion; you are simply classmates. You may do school work together, but that is as far as it goes. An unbeliever could not possibly be your best friend by God’s standards. Don’t get me wrong! You may be found in the company of sinners like Jesus was, but don’t be found in their companionship. Let your purpose in their midst be clear; you are there to be a witness of Christ to them. As such, you cannot be found with them all or most of the time. Otherwise, before long, you’ll find yourself thinking, talking, and acting like them. It is just one of the laws of life.
There are characteristics of a godly friendship that you must cultivate with your Christian friends or seek when choosing your friends. Some of them are:
Prayer: God wants you to hang around those who love to pray and know how to pray, such that if you are ever faced with a challenge, you would have friends who know how to take care of it according to the Word. Also, when you pray with your friends, you strengthen your friendship and purify it of all forms of hate, envy, and bitterness that eat into people’s hearts. Agree with your friends in prayer often [Matthew 18:19-20]!
Love for the Word: The Word of God is God [John 1:1]. You and your friends have to be people who desire to have more of God in you. The Bible says “be ye therefore followers of God as dear children” [Ephesians 5:1]. How do you follow God? It is only through His Word. Understanding that your friends will be of influence in your life consciously or unconsciously, it is best that they are themselves people who are being influenced by God’s Word continually.
Regardless of how you have been so far in life or how you started out, you can determine today how you want to end up. If you are one who wants to fulfill his or her destiny in God and be a success in life, you must begin NOW to make changes regarding your companionships. Pray to God to synchronize you with his plans and purposes for you especially with respect to those you hang around with. When you pray like that [like I did years ago], you’d find that the right people come your way and the wrong people just naturally drop out of your life. Your relationship with those wrong friends should not end in a fight; when you commit your destiny to God, they’ll leave peacefully, if they have to. Otherwise, the Spirit of God will help you to win them to Christ quickly! But, whichever the case, until they confess Christ, limit your time spent with them.
David said in Psalm 1:1 & 3, “blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful…whatsoever he doeth shall prosper”. If you want to be a successful man or woman, you have to discontinue relationships with those who hate the Lord. Never find yourself laughing together with people who mock the move of the Spirit or speak against men of God or the body of Christ. Begin programming yourself for success by surrounding yourself with God’s children today.
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